Family: Friede (Singapore)

Group Members : Roderick Chen, Ng Shih Hoong, Chee Weitong, Ruben Lee

Hi. My name is Ng Shih Hoong from Singapore. I have a typical family of four, and we live in a Housing Development Board (HDB) flat. It is a tall building usually about fourteen stories high, designed to allow many people to live on a small area of land. This is because of limited land in Singapore. The apartment may be small but it is home to many of us here. Unlike people of other countries, the families in Singapore have an average of one to three children per family. Maybe it is because nowadays adults are caught up with work and starting a family would mean more burdens and responsibilities. That is one of the reasons why Singapore’s birth rate is falling.

Coming back to my family, I have a younger sister by the name of Wan Ying. When we were young, we were always fighting over every little thing. I guess it was probably because of the limited space we had and thus had to give way to each other. But both of us usually wanted things to our advantage and were not willing to give way, resulting in a quarrel or fight. We were like the elements fire and water. We simply could not get along with each other. If left alone with each other, we would only end up fighting.

I recall an incident that happened quite some time ago. It all started when my sister and I were home alone as my parents had to attend my father’s company dinner. They decided that it was inconvenient to bring us along, as we would end up fighting and embarrass them. So they decided to leave the house behind in our care after much persuasion from us that we could behave ourselves, at least till the time they came back. That was how we were left alone at home.

For the first hour, there was peace as we were contented in watching the cartoon channel. But then, my sister got bored of the program and changed the channel even though she knew I was still particularly interested in the program that we were watching. My face flushed with anger and I stared at my sister furiously as she changed the channel when it was getting to the climax of the show. So I decided that it was time for revenge. I waited for the best part of the show that my sister was watching. When it finally came, I turned the television set off. My sister stood up and stared at me angrily. It slowly started into a heated argument, we started to scold each other and soon found ourselves fighting in the bedroom with pillows and bolsters. After arming ourselves with pillows and bolsters, we stared the fight. Pillows and bolsters flew the room and scattered to recover pillows and bolsters that were all around the room. After awhile, we got tired, but never gave in. We were determined to get the last laugh. I stood up from under the bedside after retrieving a pillow, only to be greeted by a flying pillow thrown by my sister. I felt the wind swipe past my face as the pillow missed me by inches. I quickly regained my composure and jumped on the bed and gave my sister a punch cushioned by a pillow. Although that was not really painful, the impact of the punch knocked my sister off the bed. What was the most terrifying sight was my sister talking a knock to the back of the head as she landed on the floor. I scurried beside her to check if she was all right. But to my horror she was unconscious. As quickly as I could, I laid my sister by the side of the bed and set the fan blowing in her direction, hoping that she would regain consciousness.

Suddenly I heard a click of the lock of the main door. I tried to wake my sister up by shaking her as forcefully as I could. My parents were looking for us and they found us in the bedroom. I decided to tell them the truth. When they heard what I had to say, their faces turned ghastly white and my sister rushed my sister to the hospital. My mother, fuming with anger, ordered me to kneel down in front of the altar as a form of punishment and repentance. I freely accepted it as I did not do my duty as an elder brother, but instead acted childishly, causing my sister to get injured.

During the few hours of kneeling, all that my mother said to me were harsh and stern, scolding me repeatedly for being so childish and telling me what would she do if my sister never woke up. With tears in my eyes, I gave it a very deep thought and something came across my mind. It was something my parents had told me when I was very young. It was that we sometimes have to give way to the other party to solve problems in life. Not everything would go as we wanted them to. Only then did I realize how hard I was on my sister and I really felt guilty about it. I would apologize to my sister if only she would wake up. Why did I act like that at the moment if time? If only I had tried harder to settle our dispute in peace, none of this would have happened.

After two hours of grueling pain, my mother somehow felt that I have learnt my lesson and allowed me to explain further what happened and what have I learned from it. I told her that I was really sorry about my actions and vowed that it would never happen again. Without me noticing, my father and sister were standing behind me and heard what I just said. I turned around and saw my sister running towards me like a child who had just received a present. She gave me a huge hug and whispered to me that it was not entirely my fault. Overwhelmed by emotion I dropped tears of happiness and relief. And now, since we have grown up, we have learnt how to control our emotions better. Whenever we start to get angry at each other and are on the verge of fighting again, the incident that happened would make us think twice it was a really hard earned lesson that left a deep impact in us. We have never fought again, but of cause we still had the occasional quarrels.

In life, we do not always get our way. Often peace can only be achieved if we consciously practice give and take. By consciously trying understand other’s needs and to put ourselves into their shoes, we can make the decision to give way easier. Thus, peace can then be more easily achieved, and less trouble would be created.